Pray. Meet. Love. Repeat.-Keri

Written 8.20.2008 by Keri D.

Today finds my heart a mess. The Holy Spirit has been stirring and cultivating this burden in some of us. It's a burden for the hurting, yes. A burden for the many, many people who go to bed hungry or wake up hopeless. Recently, though, reality has set in a little deeper. As we drive the streets of our own neighborhood, our own home, we are faced with these people. We see children playing in the streets and can't help but know the enemy's plan to have them ruined by their teenage years. We see women bearing bruises. Instead of that fresh cut grass you normally smell in summertime, we usually smell a different kind of plant...

Please don't hear me wrong. I am not complaining about where I live. I have chosen, and daily choose to reside here, to invest here. Not only to park my car and sleep here, but to truly LIVE here. I believe in change for these families. I believe the harvest here is beyond plentiful and the workers are extremely few. I assume it is a lot like a marriage. Many times its messy and difficult. Sometimes it hurts. Sometimes you don't know if you're going to make it. But would you leave? Absolutely not. Is it worth it? Every single second.

Last month, the man who will be my husband in 36 days had a gun pointed in his face right outside our house. They stole our stuff. It's just stuff though. It cost us way too much money to get our stuff back, (thanks city of Fort Worth) but in the end...it's just stuff. Our world hasn't fallen apart and we're not going hungry. Jeremiah knew these guys were young, a fact which fueled my passion for salvation amongst the younger generation that surrounds us. Last night, however, we found out more. One was 19-years old. The other, only 15. 15?!? What is that, like ninth grade? IF that? Not only did they point a gun at Jeremiah, but in their rampage of repeated robberies they shot two people, killing one. Talk about being grateful for life spared. I am convinced this 19-year old, Juan, is where he is because of what shaped him when he was 15. This 15-year old, who's even too young to have his name released, is where he is because of what shaped him when he was 5.

C'mon y'all. Why are we ok with this? Why do we simply pity the next generation and say a blanket "bless em'" prayer? How can we rest knowing we pass by these desperate-to-be- loved people and offer a shallow smile?

I have a job and bills to pay just like the rest of us. Even with all this pent up passion I know that I am not in a place where I can devote fully my time in these people. But God help me if I ever become ok with that . If I am ever found comfortable or content with spending more of my time at an office desk than I do pushing kids on the swingset of our park, then something is off.

In the deepest core of my spirit I believe in the power of Jesus' love. Call me a hippie. Call me unexperienced. Heck, even call me stupid. But the thing is, I can't help it. I've tried to face reality and tell myself that loving on a little girl isn't going to keep her off the street corners. I've tried convincing myself that the big bad gang members that pack our state jails and prisons need a whole lot more than just love. The problem is, y'all, I can't help but believe. I cannot deny the burning in my gut that is 100 percent convinced that true, unconditional, forgiving and selfless love can move a soul to repentance. When self is sacrificed on another's behalf and loyalty is held in the midst of betrayal, it goes beyond just warm fuzzies. I do not see how it would be possible to ignore that kind of love. I know it happens. Biblically, it happens. I believe the Lord has the sovereignty and power to harden someone's heart and turn their eyes from seeing the truth. But I do not create my own passion. The only reason I have this burden is because God has called me to it. So then, why would he birth a passion in me that he isn't going to fulfill? This brings me great hope. My roommate Paige and I were talking last night about what our lives look like. I mentioned that if we could sum it up it would probably be-

pray. meet. love. repeat.

I understand that I'm young and lean towards the "Dreamer" personality type. I expect that some of you will read this and dismiss my thoughts as being naive. That's ok. If I've learned anything over the past year its that most times these "dreams" unfold at an absurdly slow pace. Most times the journey is absolutely nothing like what we thought it would be. And, you know, it may take 40 years to see the change we dream of. It may take 2 years, and like the faith heroes in Hebrews, we may never even see it. But our children will. This, I hold to. The things we do on a weekly basis may not stand up to the American church's standards. Maybe it wouldn't qualify as "big". It's not like we're making the news or anything (Actually, my stolen car did! That should count for something! Ha.). When it all comes down to it, who are we trying to please? If the Lord says, "Walk around your neighborhood and pray until I change them" then we will. I'm pretty sure when the Israelites marched around the walls of Jericho that it wasn't too popular. Not nearly as exciting as an extravaganza of blood shedding attack. I bet a few marchers marched their way right back home due to boredom.

We may not be marching, but we're walking. And we may not be faced with walls of stone and concrete, but we can feel the walls of bitterness and despair. We have hope that they will come crashing down.

This fall we have invited the kids over once a week so that we can help them with their homework. Word on the street is that TAKS is kicking everybody's butt. We, as a nation, sure are seeing to it that no child is "left behind" academically. Uhm...what about their hearts? What about their lives? What good is a kid who aces his TAKS test but ends up with murder charges at the age of fifteen? Seriously?
We want to see them succeed in and explore their education, however, what we're really after is their hearts. We are begging Christ to save their souls. We are, in faith, claiming them for His kingdom!

I have a few pleas-
Pray. We need the Saints to rise up and pray. Pray for us. Pray for our neighborhood. Pray for your own neighborhood. Pray for the nations. Pray until you run out of words to pray and then start all over again.

Pick a kid. Any kid. Find a child who has a path of disaster set before them and literally love the hell out of them.

Disciple your own children to do the same (Who better to reach them then their own peers!?) Train your own kids to be the hands and feet of our tender King to the nerd sitting by himself or the bully who steals lunches. If the Lord has blessed you with tiny followers, take advantage of it!

And lastly, please don't become too comfortable with our surroundings. Times are hard, they say. We choose to either ignore it, pity it or do something about it. Please choose the latter of the three.

I believe in love. Not the kind that we plaster $40 t-shirts with. Not the kind that's on the movie screens. But the kind that hurts. The kind that sacrifices. The kind that says, "no matter what you do to me, you are worth my love."

Isn't that what Jesus says to us every day?

Loving till it kills me,
Keri